By James Wilson
The
Genesis Generation – born after 1983 – have been called a fatherless
generation, as has my own Boomer Generation.
In 2008 God called out a new season based on Luke 1:17. The verse – in its prophetic context –
proclaims a John the Baptist generation of fathers (and mothers) turning their
hearts to the children…all children.
Fast forward to 2014 and I happened to watch two movies about fathering
on a flight from Malaysia home to the States.
The
first was the critically acclaimed Nebraska, a film I cannot acclaim. It depicts an alcoholic, thoroughly
self-absorbed, and utterly disengaged father played – superbly – by Bruce
Dern. He imagines he has won a million
dollar prize and is obsessed with traveling from Billings, Montana, to Lincoln,
Nebraska, to claim it. His sons and his
wife move heaven and earth to get him there, in the vain hope he might actually
notice the sacrifices they make for him.
He stops in his home town – in Nebraska – and interacts with old friends
and relatives just as useless as he is; their reason for living is to con or
coerce him out of money he has not won.
The few people he knows who have lived decent lives and want nothing
from him are given a few meaningless moments of screen time. It is all about this loser who never gets it
and does nothing to justify his existence, relieve the suffering he has caused,
or bless his children.
The
second was the un-acclaimed Delivery Man.
Vince Vaughn plays David Wozniak, another loser, but with the difference
that he wants to be different. David
donates sperm twenty years back and takes his whole family to Europe on the
proceeds from his donation. He discovers
the clinic used his sperm to sire more than five hundred children with nearly
one hundred fifty demanding to know him despite the confidentiality agreement
he signed. Although his lawyer assures
him he can win a lawsuit against the clinic if his name is leaked – he does win
the suit – he comes gradually and freely to accept responsibility for fathering
these kids. Beginning with reluctance,
and without revealing his identity, he helps one secure a job, another kick a
heroin addiction, and gifts his time to still another. Turning his heart to his children moves him
to get rid of the marijuana grow in his apartment and, ultimately, to reveal
himself. In other words, turning his
heart to his children changes him and creates authentic adult humanity in him.
David
freezes when he meets his son with cerebral palsy, but – haltingly – steps up
to the plate for this challenge as well. He makes the necessary commitment to really
father his newborn son with his girlfriend, and commits to marry her. This is a film I do acclaim for presenting a
man donning authentic humanity by taking up the challenge to turn his heart to
the children – any children – because that is God-in-Christ’s heart in this
season.
There
is plenty of good teaching about the Father Heart of God. There are plenty of opportunities for
fatherless ones to experience that love from Him, mediated through men and
women willing to parent in His image.
But there is precious little on the reality that the act of fathering is
what makes us good sons and daughters as well as good fathers and mothers. It works a lot like the centurion’s faith in
Matthew 8:5-13. The centurion
understands that Jesus need only order it and his paralyzed servant is
healed. He understands Jesus’ authority
because he operates both in and under authority as a Roman officer. Jesus applauds his faith as unparalleled in
Israel. And the best news is that we
need not know how to parent to begin. It
is on-the-job training, just as it was for David Wozniak.
My
own father had no patriarchal role model growing up. He made plenty of mistakes raising me –
hurtful mistakes. But when the chips
were down he stepped up to the plate. He
pushed when I needed pushing and had my back when I needed him behind me. He blessed me on my wedding day like one of
the biblical patriarchs although he could not have understood – in biblical
terms – what he did. I hope my children
– those I raised and those I spiritually father – see my father and my God in
me.
Our
alternatives are simple. We can be as
self-centered as the Bruce Dern character and kid ourselves that he is
interesting, or we can be as Christ-centered as David Wozniak turns out to be –
whether or not he knows it. The choice
is very simple.
James A. Wilson is the author of Living
As Ambassadors of Relationships and The
Holy Spirit and the End Times – available at local bookstores or by
e-mailing him at
praynorthstate@charter.net
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