ADDRESSING BULLYING IN THE CHURCH

By James Wilson

            Many years ago I pastored a so-called pastor-killer church.  Of the two pastors who preceded me, one was so frightened of the elders he would throw up Sunday Mornings before preaching; he literally dropped dead of a heart attack one day.  The other had a series of nervous breakdowns until forced to resign.  These elders were so dedicated to controlling their pastor they forbade publishing the minutes of board meetings without their approval.  When they got a draft copy they would delete any item revealing their abusive behavior.  When I would publish the minutes with those items re-inserted the rumor would go around that I was to be fired at the next meeting in retaliation for defying them.  But like clockwork about sixty members would show up for the meeting and – under their steely gaze – no move would be made to fire me.

            Bullies prefer to operate in darkness.  The last thing they want is to come under observation, much less report.  Secular dictators from Hitler to Stalin to Mao expended great effort to keep secret their treatment of their people.  Church leaders do not sink to that level, but there is plenty of bullying in the churches – at all levels – and daylight is usually the thing the bullies fear most.

            In another church I pastored there was a tradition of men exercising all leadership functions.  When the elders asked if I favored this way I responded that I did not.  I said, however, that I did not intend to force them to change – to sighs of relief – provided we continued to discuss it until they came around to my viewpoint or I to theirs – to sighs of distress.  Reality was that neither the Bible nor church tradition – let alone reason – supported their position.  I simply kept shooting holes in their reasoning until they demanded we end the discussion.  When I reminded them of our deal they collapsed before the daylight I splashed on their mythology.  But bullying is not limited to elders versus the pastor.

            All Americans – Christian or not – have been shocked and disgusted by the revelations of cover-ups of predatory perversion on the part of priests and pastors over the past few years.  (This is by no means limited to the Roman Catholic Church; in fact, the instances found in that denomination – the world’s largest – are not proportionately greater than in any other branch of the Body.)  This is as clear an example of bullying by clergy as could be imagined, although most are smaller – albeit every bit as abusive.  I know far too many women who have dated church members or leaders who proved abusive and taken their pain to the pastor, only to be told it would be too disruptive to the congregation to act on the information.  Early in my own ministry as an associate pastor I became aware of a man in the church stalking a single woman.  When I confronted the stalker – after being assured by the senior pastor and our bishop that I would get no support for this – I was forced to bluff him and – thank God – it worked.  But I have given only a few brief examples of a sick situation that must be addressed in order to be healed.

            I will never forget the member of the California State Assembly who addressed us at the first Line in the Sand event in 2011 with these words, “If you would see the state house healed you must first heal the church house.”  That is why I am so dedicated to God’s call for repentance in the Church as a pre-requisite to the Great Awakening He promises. 

            The good news is as I said before.  Bullies prefer to operate in darkness; they dread the light of day on their activities.  The challenging news is that leadership – including anyone with ears to hear, eyes to see, and a mouth to speak – needs to turn the light of day on bullies in the Church – and outside it.  The Lord our God would say – because He defends the defenseless by His very nature – this is a big part of acknowledging Him before men.  Only when we do this can we expect the Son to acknowledge us before the Father.

            But the even better news is that our God permits do-overs at any time and at all times.  Repentance is a privilege, not a punishment.  The moment we repent; the moment we stop sinning – whether by our own aggression or our silence in the face of it – and face Him, we embark on the first and best day of the rest of our life. 

James A. Wilson is the author of Living As Ambassadors of Relationships and The Holy Spirit and the End Times – available at local bookstores or by e-mailing him at

praynorthstate@charter.net