God
has given no more beautiful gift than the sexual union He makes possible
between a husband and wife. It is the
fullest expression of “having one’s back” – understood as total commitment. There is good and credible evidence the Jews
invented romantic love as expressed in their practice of kissing and making
love in the frontal position, making possible the intimate engagement – looking
one another in the eye – we associate with “knowing” in the Biblical sense. Sexual union is also the way we give birth to
children whose purpose is to provide an opportunity for sacrificial love as
much as to reproduce our species. This
approach to union is unique to humankind.
God clearly intended
this as His gift from the beginning. A
proper translation of Genesis 2:18 reads literally, “one who can look him in
the face,” as egalitarian a term as anyone could ask for the status of a wife;
“helpmate” is simply not it. Meanwhile,
Genesis 2:24 depicts God declaring a man leaves his parents and becomes one
flesh with his wife. Jesus calls this
foundational in Mark 10. Only then is
sex the gift He intends.
Tragically,
we have not been content to walk out God’s plan, and California leads the
nation in walking out the tragedy. Many
studies – conducted by major secular universities over the past four decades –
show marriages sturdier and stabler when the couple marries prior to
co-habitation. Others show children far
less at risk for poverty, crime, or addiction when raised in traditional
families. Studies touting the benefits
of raising children in alternative households have been debunked as junk
science by studies actually employing the scientific method and painting a
picture much more grim. Although there
are times when a marriage cannot endure the strains placed on it, and the one
entrusted with the children does the best and often successful job possible
against odds, there is no alternative model in which adults and children
consistently thrive than the Biblical one.
Yet we keep trying to do the same dysfunctional stuff while expecting a
different result for ourselves and our children.
California
plays host to the worldwide pornography industry. Between eighty and ninety per cent of
pornography produced worldwide comes out of the greater Los Angeles area –
ironically a place named for the angels of God – and its use is as common in
the Church as outside it. Pornography is
by definition an appeal to the absence of covenant relationship in which only
the pleasure associated with sexual union is entertained. The people on both sides of the screen are
treated as objects – pieces of meat in essence – and even Christians tend to
deny the destruction this wreaks on authentic relationships, although numerous
studies document the reality. Add that
to the social tendency for engaged couples to focus more on the wedding than
the marriage in their preparation times and it is small wonder our state leads
the nation in divorce and marital dysfunction.
What can we do as people of repentance?
For
openers we could check out Ephesians 5:21-25 in God’s Book. The
world was grounded in sacrifice from the beginning. (I have made my case for this in previous
blogs and will doubtless do it again herafter.)
Verse 21 calls on husbands and wives to submit to (read sacrifice for)
one another out of reverence for Christ.
The rest speaks to how wives and husbands can accomplish this mutual
submission within their respective spheres – and nothing more nor less. There is no subordination in marriage; only
mutual submission leading to mutual joy, if we accept the counter-intuitive
precept God gives.
We
are indeed called to repent in this season of spiritual drought leading to
physical drought. Repentance is not
about beating ourselves up over our own behavior, much less that of
others. It is about re-focus on God and
on the life He offers to us. The people
of God who observe the lifestyle of repentance as the privilege it is will look
first at how they can be better spouses and parents according to the Biblical
model. They will re-discover the joy of
covenant engagement with one spouse viewed as a person and not as an
object. And we will beg God on an
ongoing basis to lead the rest of us Californians back to Him and to His
ways. Repentance is about seeking
abundant life from its Giver through practical acts. And we can start by celebrating that – while
there are sexual sins and they are rampant in our state – there is no necessary
connection between the one and the other.
Authentic sex is anything but sin.
James A. Wilson is the author of Living
As Ambassadors of Relationships and The
Holy Spirit and the End Times – available at local bookstores or by
e-mailing him at
praynorthstate@charter.net
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